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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Review: Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters

Publisher: Nintendo
Developer: Nintendo

The original Kid Icarus for the NES gets a lot more credit than it deserves. It was made at the same time as Metroid, so people remember it as being better than it actually was. Kid Icarus was frustratingly hard, and one mistimed jump could destroy all your progress.

It's funny: During the making of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, they included a few music tracks from Kid Icarus. The two main tracks that they used were the only two that people remembered: the music from the opening level and the music you hear when you disturb a Reaper, also something you hear on the first level. That's kind of telling, isn't it?
Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters for the Game Boy is a far, far superior game to the original Kid Icarus. There are fewer enemies than the NES version, so you don't get mobbed like you do in the NES game. There's also no insta-death, meaning that a mistimed or misplaced jump won't instantly erase all the progress you've made in a level.

There are tons of secrets to find, too. If you collect hammers you can  destroy statues that give you health or bang open entrances to new secret rooms by destroying blocks. Some secret rooms have health-regenerating springs, while others may give you a place to use your hearts (Kid Icarus' currency) to buy new items.

I have only a few complaints with Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters. First of all, it's a little grind-tastic. If you speed through the levels without killing anything, you won't get any of the special bonuses, like stronger arrows or increased health. You also won't have enough hearts to buy any of the good equipment. If you want to get the good stuff, you'll have to sit in the middle of a level for a while to kill enemies. It artificially pads the length of the game, but if you grind away at an enemy type for about five minutes, you're usually fine.

The collision detection can be a little imprecise, but it errs on the side of caution. There will be times where your sprite will pass through a platform you're jumping at, only to find yourself standing on it a split second later. There will also be some times where you'll think you've been hit by something, but the game doesn't register the hit or the damage. At least it's not the other way around.

Finally, the final boss is incredibly difficult. I'm sure there's a pattern he follows, but every time I fight him, the pattern is, "Please don't kill me, oh, great, you killed me." One of these days I'll have to read an FAQ about it.

If you have a 3DS and a passing interest in Kid Icarus games, Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters is well worth your time. It's not the best game in the world, but it's a definite improvement over the original Kid Icarus and a lot of fun.

Final Rating: B

Monday, October 29, 2012

Review: Donkey Kong

Developer: Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo

Donkey Kong is one of those games that everyone has played at some point. You play as Mario as you climb to the top of a structure, Donkey Kong gets mad, carries away your girlfriend, you chase him to the next structure, get to the top of it, and so on. It's fun for about five minutes, and then you start wondering what else you can play.

You may be excused if you think that the Game Boy version of Donkey Kong (often colloquially referred to as "Donkey Kong '94") is the same thing. After all, it starts out looking almost exactly like the original with some slightly fancier graphics. Is it just a cheap cash-in?

Oh, Lord no.
Finish the first four levels, and Donkey Kong '94 opens wide to show you what it's really all about. In each of the new levels, your goal is to pick up a key and get it to a door. It's a heck of a lot harder than it sounds, and you'll need your wits about you to pull off some of the more devious levels.

Donkey Kong '94 is very long, with almost 100 levels and hours worth of playtime. There are surprises and special moves galore. The difficulty curve ramps up nicely and extra lives are abundant. You'll need almost all of those extra lives in some of the later levels, I can tell you that.

The music is also some of the best of the Game Boy era. There are some really atmospheric tracks, and I won't spoil them in this review. Just suffice to say that in some levels, I found myself finding a safe place where I could just listen to the music for a bit. Here's a sample:


Donkey Kong '94 is one of the best values in the 3DS Virtual Console. It's one of the lost classics of the Game Boy era, a game that's really never gotten its due because of the system it was released on. Play it and see why it's so great. I'm sure you'll agree with me.

Final Rating: A+

NES Replay: Adventures In The Magic Kingdom

Developer: Capcom
Publisher: Capcom
Released: 1990
Disney: What Is Your Problem Anyway
In NES Replay, we go through each NES game from A-Z to see if they're any good. Today: Adventures In The Magic Kingdom.

Developers, take note: If you decide to make a game for kids, make the game for kids.

Adventures in the Magic Kingdom is either made for kids or incredibly creepy adults who sleep in Mickey Mouse pajamas, one or the other. Since I can only assume that "creepy adults" is not a prized segment of Disney's marketing department, we'll go ahead and assume the game is made for kids.

You may think that I'm saying that there's objectionable content in this game, but there isn't. It's just really, really hard. Laughably hard.

You want an example? All right. In order to reach the final area of the game, you have to answer a series of  trivia questions. These are not normal questions. Here's a small sampling of some of the more ridiculous ones.


ANSWER ME
Now, some have accused me of having a weird, encyclopedic memory. I can tell you that Harry S Truman's favorite food was Ozark Pudding. I can tell you that Joe McCarthy was the manager of the Yankees in the 30's and 40's, and then he jumped ship for the Red Sox. I can tell you that James Dean only starred in three movies, "Rebel Without A Cause," "Giant" and "East of Eden." I didn't have to look up any of that information, it was just sort of there.

This is to say that I'm a bit of a trivia master, and I couldn't tell you the answers to any of these questions. Maybe an adult who was alive around the time that Mickey Mouse was created or "Spin and Marty" was still on the air could tell you the answer, but why would they be playing this game?

The levels are ridiculously difficult as well. In one side-scrolling level, you have no weapons and frequently get mobbed by pirates. You can't fight back, you just have to run from them. In another side-scrolling level, you navigate a haunted house with a limited amount of weapons. Wouldn't it have made sense to have the weapons available against the pirates, and make you run away from the ghosts? Whatever. The only remotely fun level is the haunted house, and that's only because you have a fighting chance.

In another level, you have to fly a spaceship through an endless parade of dots that are supposed to represent stars. Mickey will tell you what buttons to press and when in order not to "hit" anything in space. If you don't press that button RIGHT NOW you'll take damage, and the level just keeps going faster and faster. I have experience playing games like that and couldn't finish that level.

And finally, in another level, you're supposed to race against opponents on go-karts. You'll frequently get attacked by your opponents. I do mean, "attacked." They will attempt to ram you off the road on purpose, and won't stop until you're dead.

OK, so you tell me, is this game for kids? Would a child gladly pick up this game and enjoy it, or would they say that it sucks and quit? I would tell you what I did, but I think you can figure that out by now.

Final Rating:


Next Week: The Adventures of Bayou Billy

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Using Windows 8 Now

So Microsoft finally decided to take my money and I'm using Windows 8 now. It's... a lot like Windows 7. Just 8-ier.

I'd Like To Make The Windows 8 Leap

I'd like to make the Windows 8 leap, but apparently Microsoft doesn't want my money. Their payment processing is down, so that's cool.

Making The Windows 8 Leap

I'm upgrading to Windows 8. Wish me luck, and we'll see you on the other side.

Monday, October 22, 2012

NES Replay: Adventure Island III

Developer: Hudson
Publisher: Hudson
Released: 1992
Disappointment Level: High
In NES Replay, we go through each NES game from A-Z to see if they're any good. Today: Adventure Island III.

There are a few things in life that are absolutely horrible. Jumping off a roof and landing on a bicycle with no seat? Horrible. Tripping and faceplanting in a pile of dog poop? Horrible. Biting into an apple and seeing half a worm inside? Horrible.

You know what else is absolutely horrible? Playing a game that you remember being awesome and finding it to be bad. That's horrible.

Adventure Island III was one of those game that I remembered being awesome. Sure, the music and the graphics were taken wholesale from Adventure Island II, but I loved Adventure Island II! What's wrong with more Adventure Island II?

However, Adventure Island III barely throws anything new into the mix. There's a new dinosaur that rolls into a ball, but he's hard to control and gets you killed more often than not. The bosses are impossibly hard. I cheated like crazy and still ended up dying thirty times to the very first boss.

BLAND BLAND BLAND
BLAND BLAND BLAND
You get a boomerang as a new weapon, but it's completely useless since you can only throw one at a time and it doesn't return in a clean, predictable trajectory. The new music is nowhere near as catchy as the recycled stuff, and the new levels don't look nearly as good as the recycled ones either.

I'm going to get on my high horse for just a moment, so I hope you'll indulge me. When a company pumps out sequel after sequel to a game, there are bound to be recycled assets involved, but what's worse than the recycled assets are the recycled ideas. You simply can't pump out game after game and expect the good ideas to keep on flowing. Sega discovered this with Sonic, Neversoft discovered it with Tony Hawk, and Activision is discovering it with all the franchises they're currently running into the ground.

That feels like what happened with Adventure Island III. Instead of coming up with new ideas, they just made what amounted to a glorified expansion pack for the second game, but made it crappier. Ah well. At least we still have Adventure Island II.

Final Rating:


Adventure Island Series Rating:
  1. Adventure Island II
  2. The kiss from a unicorn upon my brow, awaking me from slumber to a wonderful fairy-tale land of delights
  3. Adventure Island
  4. Adventure Island III
Next week: Adventures In The Magic Kingdom

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Full Games on the eShop

Nintendo has started offering more full retail games on the eShop. On Thursday, they added Ocarina of Time 3D, Super Mario 3D Land, Star Fox 64 3D and Mario Kart 7 to their eShop offerings. They're all being sold for $39.99 apiece.

I'm not sure this pricing is going to work. I would absolutely love to have these games installed on my 3DS so that I could change between them without having to change out cartridges, but that's kind of pricey.

I know that this is what they're selling these games for via regular retail channels, but let's be real: The additional packaging, fabrication and shipping of the games adds extra overhead, which pushes the price higher. For the eShop, the only cost that Nintendo needs to pay is the server infrastructure, which is considerably less than physical shipping. For that reason, Nintendo should sell these games for far less on the eShop than in stores.

Now, I know this is coming from the guy who bought New Super Mario Bros. 2 via the eShop, but I really, really hope that Nintendo does something about those prices. It would be nice if they followed in the footsteps of Steam and do some specials deals during the holiday season, for example.

That, however, could be a double-edged sword. For example, I don't buy many games from services like Steam or GOG without them actually being on sale. I can't bring myself to pay full price for something I know that they're going to drop the price on.

Still, it would be nice if Nintendo would throw eShop users a bone. I know they want to move a large portion of their users to digital distribution. Lowering the prices would be a nice way to start.

Review: Adventure Island

Developer: Hudson
Publisher: Hudson

My love of Adventure Island II is well-known. It's a very fun platformer with bouncy, well-made music, solid controls and some neat mechanics, like your ridable dinosaur friends.

Adventure Island for the Game Boy (and now for the 3DS Virtual Console) is pretty much the same thing as Adventure Island II with a few differences and exclusions.

Adventure Island keeps the same difficulty level as the NES version with one major exception: The levels in the Game Boy game are much smaller than the NES game. That's a blessing and a curse, since the smaller levels mean that the Game Boy game is much shorter than the NES game, and yet the reduced difficulty means you can get much farther without reaching the "Game Over" screen.

There's no overworld in this version, so you can't really tell how close you are to the end of the game. The level flow doesn't really tell you much either. I didn't know I was on the final level until I beat it. Finally, the music and graphics are about the same as Adventure Island II, but streamlined for the Game Boy, which means that the sound isn't quite as good as the NES game and there are fewer frames of animation.

For a fan of Adventure Island II, then Adventure Island for the 3DS Virtual Console will probably be just fine. If you're not an Adventure Island II fan, then this won't change your mind. At least it's cheap.

Final Rating: C+

Monday, October 15, 2012

NES Replay: Adventure Island II

Developer: Now Production
Publisher: Hudson
Released: 1990
This Game: The whole reason I did this series
In NES Replay, we go through each NES game from A-Z to see if they're any good. Today: Adventure Island II.

I have a secret.

There are four NES games that cause me to lose all objectivity. Three of them are Mario 2, Mario 3 and Kirby's Adventure. The final one is Adventure Island II.

Adventure Island II and I have a history. It was 1991, and I was invited over to my friend Stephen's house. He had rented a few games from Preferred Video, and we sat down to play for the evening.

The first one was Back to the Future. We'll get to that one at a later date, but it wasn't great.

Adventure Island II, though, was something different. In Adventure Island II, you got to ride dinosaurs, and throw hammers, and... my lord... walk up inclines!

Yes, walking up an incline in a game absolutely blew my 10-year-old mind. Super Mario 3 was out, but I hadn't had a chance to play it yet. That meant that this was the first time I saw an incline in a video game with my own two eyes was in Adventure Island II. It sounds like a really dumb thing to geek out over, but really, you had to be there.

And the music! My goodness, the music. I can honestly say that the first time that video game music really moved me was with Adventure Island II. Up until then, I liked the little tunes coming out of the NES, but I had no idea that you could coax such graceful music out of a mere toy.



One of the features that I specifically singled out as being awesome was the ability to store your dinosaur buddies until you wanted to use them again. A level giving you a hard time? Use a stored pterodactyl so you can fly over the level. Is there a level with lava? Use a red dinosaur so you can walk through the lava safe and sound.

Was the level design great? I don't really know. Some of the later levels were punishing, but most of the time the game at least seemed fair. There were secrets everywhere that would enable you to skip whole worlds, find areas full of delicious, life-giving fruit, and give you extra items for use later. There was just so much more in this game than I was used to seeing, and it just scrambled my brain.

After we were done playing, I declared Adventure Island II's music to be the best game music of 1989, and Adventure Island II as the game of the year. Never mind that I hadn't actually played any other games from that year as far as I knew. Adventure Island II was my Game of the Year, and I declared it as such right then and there.

Looking back, that's probably the first time I tried my hand at game criticism. Sure, I just went on and on about how great Adventure Island II was, but I attempted to at least explain why it was so great.

Adventure Island II was a very formative game for me. As such, I can't tell you if it's any good, to be perfectly honest. I can't tell you specifics about the level design, or put it in perspective compared to other games of its time. All I can say is that it's always going to be a great game for me.

Final Rating:


Next week: Adventure Island III

Friday, October 12, 2012

Review: Torchlight II

Developer: Runic Games

Some games just have "it."

"It" is that strange, inimitable presence that makes them fun to play, unique, and totally engrossing. It's something you can't fake and you can't force.

Torchlight II has "it." Action-RPGs that mimic the gameplay and aesthetic of Diablo have been around almost immediately after Diablo launched in 1996. So many pretenders to the crown have come and gone, and so many of them can't nail down what made Diablo great in the first place. There have been a few games that got it right, like the fantastic Titan Quest. There have been a lot more that got oh-so-close and fumbled key parts of the game. Judging by some recent reactions to Diablo III's endgame, it seems that Blizzard has forgotten that as well.
For example, the original Torchlight came very close, as it got all the mechanics down. However, since the game took place in caverns, there wasn't a whole lot of variance in the scenery. You were either looking at caves, swamp, a weird temple, a castle, or something similar. You only ever visited one town (the titular Torchlight). They also didn't include multiplayer, for some odd reason. The quests were also kind of boring, as each one required you to go to Floor X and kill Monster Y, sometimes bringing back Shiny Bauble Z. Rinse, repeat.

Mind you, the original Torchlight was still really good. The game mechanics were fantastic and there were plenty of ways to spec your character just the way you wanted him or her. It was everything you would want in a Diablo clone, but it just wasn't Diablo.

In order to make Torchlight II, Runic Games could have just added an overworld and some more cities, thrown in multiplayer and called it a day. It would have still been decent, especially because the underlying mechanics of the game were good. Fortunately, they didn't take the easy way out.

For example, there's more character customization in Torchlight II. Instead of three fixed classes with fixed genders, you can select from four different classes, choose male or female characters, and customize their looks. You can choose from more pets, and multiple styles of those pets.

The classes are all a blast to play as. I started by playing as an Engineer, a cross between a heavy-weapon wielder and a machine-maker. I played him too closely to a straight fighter and got bored. Respeccing the character to use more of the machines at his disposal made him a lot more fun to play.

I also have a Berzerker named Burt, and he's even more fun. Burt has a skill that has a chance of causing the Berzerker to go into an adrenaline-fueled rage and up his speed. I combined that with a skill that lengthens the time that the Berzerker goes into a state called Frenzy, when he ups his damage and critical hit rate. Now, if I wanted to, I could have picked skills that improved how much magical damage I deal with each hit. I could pick skills that cause frozen enemies to explode upon death and cause splash damage. I've got that flexibility. Most every skill is useful and uniquely tailored to suit a specific style of play.

That's the great thing about Torchlight II's classes: How do you want to play them? Do you want ranged characters or melee characters? You choose. Really, you choose. Go nuts. I can take my Engineer, for example, and outfit him with a giant cannon. That's right: I can make my tank character a ranged character too.

Full disclosure: I haven't tried the other two classes yet, the magic-focused Embermage or the range-focused Outlander. I intend to try them all, even though I've already played through the majority of the game. That's how much fun I'm having.

The biggest difference between the Diablo series and the Torchlight series is your animal friend who accompanies you. He (or she, whatever) is more than just an extra warrior alongside you. As in the first Torchlight, you can easily transfer your excess gear over to your pet and send them back to town to sell it. However, in Torchlight II, you also have the ability for them to purchase potions and scrolls for you while in town and bring them back to you, an ability that saved my bacon more than once.

There’s the chance you can royally wreck your build. For example, I made some mistakes with Burt, dumping too many points into Focus and Vitality, stats which the Berzerker class doesn’t need because other skills will take the place of them. I also didn’t pick the right combination of skills, wasting my points on skills that didn’t end up being useful in the long run. Now, if I would have been playing on Normal difficulty, I probably wouldn’t have had any issues, but playing on Veteran made those mistakes stick out dramatically. By comparison, Diablo III does have some more flexibility as far as respeccing your characters, since they allows you to shuffle around your skills at a whim, making it far less difficult to completely bork your character.

The good news is that Torchlight II does make it very clear what you're getting in to before you pick your character's next skill and it does allow you to respec your last three chosen skills if you don't like the choice you made (for a small fee in gold, of course). There's also apparently a complete respec potion that can drop from time to time, though they're supposed to be extremely rare.

Now, I can't tell you exactly how this stacks up with Diablo III. I haven't played Diablo III, so I can't compare the loot drops, the skill trees, and all the other minutiae between the two. All I can say is this: After playing Torchlight II, I don't feel the need to play Diablo III. Why would I? Torchlight II scratches any possible loot-gathering, baddie-bashing, weapon-wielding, mouse-breaking itch I may have gotten, and then some. And by the way: Torchlight II sells for a third of the price. Game, set, match.

Final Grade: A

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Feeling A Little Reflective


It's funny: I've been writing here for six years, and you never really notice how much your writing improves until you go back and look at the older writing you've done.

I have some articles that I thought were the pinnacle of writitude when I wrote them. I look back now and absolutely cringe. I started pruning old articles out that were written to be "edgy" and just turned out to sound like a ten-year-old's idea of what edgy was supposed to be, or articles that were trying to sound like a homeless man's Bill Simmons.

For example, the other day I decided to write an article about No One Lives Forever. I went back to look at an old post I had about it and was absolutely mortified. If I could have gone back in time and punched my past self for being an idiot, I would have. I deleted the post right away because it was just so mind-bogglingly stupid that I couldn't imagine living in a world where somewhere something that lame was something I had written.

I think it all comes down to this: If you want to get good at something, do it, keep doing it and don't stop until you get good at it. Listen to criticism (but don't beat yourself up over it) and learn from your mistakes. Look at your older work and see what worked and what didn't. Edit yourself. Be yourself. Use your influences as a guide but not as a template. Don't expect success overnight.

And above all, if you're going to write, don't put two spaces after your sentences. It makes them look all janky.

Monday, October 8, 2012

NES Replay: Adventure Island

Developer: Hudson Soft
Publisher: Hudson Soft
Released: 1987
Is This The Best Game Featuring a
Half-Naked Fat Guy: Almost
In NES Replay, we go through each NES game from A-Z to see if they're any good. Today: Adventure Island.

One of my pet peeves with "hardcore" gamers is when they grouse about the difficulty of the current generation of games. You'll hear them complain that games are too easy now, and gamers should have to play just like we did when we were young, doggone it!

"We had ONE quarter to spend at the arcade, and if you died within the first minute of playing that was your own fault, and everything was trying to kill you, and the slightest touch of a stray bullet would do it! And if that didn't kill you, there was a timer ticking down in the corner, and when that ran out you would die too! And we liked it, because that's how we had it!"

News flash: The only reason games were that hard is because developers didn't know any better. Most developers got their start in the arcade era, and in the arcades of yore, the only goal was to separate you from your hard-earned cash by any means necessary. If that meant the difficulty needed to be cranked up, that was your problem. When those developers moved over to the NES, they carried those principles with them, which meant that most NES games bore the stamp of excessive difficulty. QED.

I have nothing to add to this picture.
Adventure Island is one of those kind of games. If you get hit once, you die. You can get a skateboard that gives you two hits, but makes you rocket through the level at a breakneck speed, so it doesn't really help. If you die, you lose your weapon and have to hope that you get another one soon, since you can't kill anything without it and are basically a sitting duck. You have three lives, and when you lose those, then the game drops you back to the very beginning without even a kiss on the mouth.

In the wrong hands, this type of difficulty is an incredible chore. With Adventure Island, though, it's not that bad. The levels are still fun enough that you're not throwing the controller down, and the music is bouncy and varied enough to keep you bopping along.

Still, you can't get over this nagging feeling that the game would have been that much better if they would have eased up a little bit. If they had, it may have been a classic. As it is, it's almost there, but not quite.

Final Rating:


Next week: Adventure Island II

Monday, October 1, 2012

Review: Kirby's Dream Land

Developer: HAL Laboratory
Publisher: Nintendo

When you play the original Kirby's Dream Land, it's easy to see why Nintendo thought this would be a great franchise. It's fun to play, it's easy to control, and it's got a lot of character. There's a lot to like about it. The graphics are excellent, the music is toe-tapping, and the gameplay is varied.

So when you finish it after only playing it for half an hour, you're understandably a little annoyed.

I purchased this game way back when I was about 14 years old, on my original Game Boy. I paid $30 for it, and I quite literally finished it in half an hour. I died once during my entire playtime. I tried returning it, and of course they didn't accept the return, so there I was, stuck with a game that I had already finished. There was nothing to unlock, nothing extra to do except play the game's included "Hard Mode," which was just about impossible.

For $2.99 on the eShop, the length (or lack thereof) of Kirby's Dream Land is a touch more palatable. With so many other choices, though, I would be hard-pressed to recommend such a short, short game. Maybe I'm still angry, but dang it, thirty dollars is thirty dollars.

Stupid Kirby's Dream Land.

Final Rating: D

NES Replay: Advanced Dungeons and Dragons: Pool of Radiance

Developer: SSI
Publisher: SSI
Released: 1992
Joke About Cheeto Dust: Imminent
In NES Replay, we go through each NES game from A-Z to see if they're any good. Today: Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Pool of Radiance.

You have to feel for D&D players.

In case you weren't around in the 80's, there was a huge scare about Dungeons & Dragons. If you played D&D, so the story goes, demons would attack your home and your offspring would be dragged down into the bowels of hell where Satan would torment them for eternity. Now, of course, we understand that the only torment that D&D players will get is looking for dates, but at the time, that meant that D&D players had to skulk around in the shadows, quietly hiding their hobby and only revealing it to others of a like mind.

Other hobbies-slash-geek-obsessions have gone mainstream, like comic books, videogames and fantasy sports, and yet D&D still has a stigma attached to it. Look how easily that joke about D&D players failing to get dates rolled out. Some of you reading along probably just laughed along with it, and you should be ashamed of yourselves.

The one place where D&D players could feel safe was on their computers, where they were able to play the Gold Box series of D&D games made by people who understood D&D. It was like a reassuring letter from people who could tell them, "Look, bro, we know how it feels. Here's an awesome computer game. Also, wipe the Cheeto dust off your fingers."

Way more exciting than it looks, I swear.
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Pool of Radiance is the fourth D&D game we've played in this series, and it's really the only one that feels like D&D. When you start playing, you immediately get an urge to break out the graph paper, just as it should be.

Pool of Radiance demands that you pay attention. It demands that you check your characters stats, that you keep an eye on what they have equipped, that you select your spells and play the game just like you would play a typical game of D&D. It's incredibly deep and surprisingly fun.

There is a little problem, though. Within my brief playtime, I wandered into a tavern, got involved in a brawl with thieves, attempted to parley with orcs (they didn't want to), and started navigating the slums. Yet, I'm just scratching the surface and I really would love to dig into Pool of Radiance much further. Alas, I can't, but when this series is done (in ten years), I promise I'll come back.

Final Rating:


For the series of D&D games, here's how they rank from best to worst:
  1. Pool of Radiance
  2. Hillsfar
  3. Dragonstrike
  4. Someone else's wet fart in the shower that you happen to catch a whiff of
  5. Heroes of the Lance
Next week: Adventure Island