Why The Super Mario Bros. Collection Makes Me Angry

The Onion’s AV Club reviewed the 25th Anniversary Super Mario Bros. Collection today. Spoiler warning: They gave it an F.

This is where you would expect the Nintendo fanboy in me to start screaming and howling about how the AV Club is not being fair to Nintendo, and they’re forgetting about the BEAUTY of these games. If that’s what you came here to read, I’m sorry to have wasted your time.

The fact of the matter is, Nintendo has dropped the ball with regards to the Anniversary Collection. I can’t even begin to describe how badly Nintendo dropped the ball. They didn’t just drop the ball, they dropped it down a storm drain and then drowned trying to go get it back, and then badgers ate the body.

Here’s what you get when you drop $30 on this anniversary collection:

1. A warmed-over ROM of Super Mario All-Stars
2. A booklet
3. A music CD
4. Regret

First of all, Super Mario All-Stars was a really fun game... in 1993 when no one EVER released games for the previous system on the new system. It was amazing to be able to play Mario 1, 2, 3 and the Lost Levels for the first time in glorious 16-bit color and sound. Those of us in the US had never even played the Lost Levels, so it was an extra treat. Plus, you could save your game! Rock ON!

That was 17 years ago. These things are now passe. For example, we’ve seen Super Mario 1 redone so many times that we’re bored by it. We’ve seen Super Mario Advance and Super Mario Advance 4, which redid Mario 2 & 3 with way more enhancements. The Lost Levels, having now been “found,” are no longer a huge draw.

On top of that, you can purchase all of these games via the Virtual Console service for $21 total. Twenty-one dollars! Let’s do the math:

$21 < $30

Via this complex mathematical formula, I have extrapolated that $21 is, in fact, LESS than their asking price for the Anniversary Collection.

“But, Mr. Blogger Nerd Rage Man, these are ENHANCED GRAPHICS! SAVE SLOTS! Not only that, but there’s a booklet and music CD! That has to be worth $9 more, right?”

You could make the argument that those additions add up to $9 worth of extras, except for two things:

1. Nobody really likes the enhanced graphics or music. What will draw a bigger crowd, the original Super Mario Brothers music, or the “improved” Super Nintendo music? What about the “improved” graphics? What’s the bigger nostalgia trip? Essentially, Nintendo is charging you extra for something you don’t want, didn’t ask for, and don’t really like.
2. Save slots aren’t that important anymore. Using the Virtual Console, you can easily stop your in-progress game and move on to a different game. In the NES and Super Nintendo days, there was no way to do so. Your only option was leaving the system on overnight, which could damage it or cause it to overheat. It was a Big Deal to have save slots. Now, not so much.
3. The booklet and music CD are flimsy at best. Quick, where can you find information on the making of Super Mario Brothers? TRY EVERYWHERE. Where can you listen to the original music of the game? HEY LOOK, YOUTUBE. There is absolutely nothing here that you can’t find free elsewhere, and in many cases, better quality.
4. Where the &#$^ is Super Mario World? For a time, they were releasing cartridges with Super Mario All-Stars and Super Mario World together. What happened? Why did they decide not to include it?

Here’s what really gets me. What did Nintendo do with this collection? They quite literally slapped a Mario All-Stars ROM on a disc and sent it off to printing. The ROM itself is maybe 8 megabytes large. What did they fill up the rest of the disc with? Pictures of their moms and dads? Vacation memories? The unabridged Oxford Dictionary? It’s quite possibly the laziest collection I have ever seen.

Let’s compare this collection to the Mega Man Anniversary Collections. The Mega Man Anniversary Collection has 8 Mega Man games on it, two unlockable Mega Man arcade games, unlockable galleries and more. The Mega Man X Anniversary Collection has 6 Mega Man games on it, an unlockable kart-racing game, and galleries. This is from Capcom, a company that has far less money than Nintendo.

Now, imagine if Nintendo had gone that extra mile. Imagine if this collection had Mario 1, 2, 3, the Lost Levels AND Super Mario World AND allowed you to unlock, say, Super Mario Land 1 and 2 and maybe Donkey Kong. I would have been happy with that. That would have been amazing. As it is, they handed out poop in a box.

Here’s the sad part: If they would have released this five years ago as a 20-year anniversary collection, it would have been amazing. Playing the Mario games on your Gamecube and using the music CD at a time when we still used CDs would have been awesome. As it is, the Super Mario Bros. Anniversary Collection was a giant missed opportunity and one of the most pathetic collections I’ve ever seen.

Our New Mission Statement

You may have seen that our new mission statement is “Analysis without the hype cycle.” You may wonder what we mean by that. Here’s the explanation.


You may remember this article, where I talked about the problems plaguing game reviews. One of the problems with game reviews and reviewers is this: They’re too close to the industry. They depend on exclusives and advertising from the industry to fuel their own traffic and give them something to write about.

I’m not saying this in a conspiratorial, us-versus-them manner. It’s the God’s honest truth. For example, looking at IGN right at this instant, there are ads for Mafia II from Direct2Drive, Adventure Quest, Tron Evolution, and OnLive. Gamespot is skinned with Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, Maple Story, Kinect Joy Ride, and EA’s iPhone games.

I’m not criticizing these publications by any means. I mean, it makes sense to advertise games on a gaming website. A lot of journalists are great, fine, upstanding individuals and I would never state that their journalistic credibility is suspect. But when your salary is literally paid for by the companies that you sometimes need to tell people to avoid, it adds an extra dimension to your already-taxing job.

However, that’s not where the largest part of where game journalism fails, since most reviewers try and be honest. It’s actually a little bit deeper of a problem.

Above all else, what does every gaming company wan? They want you to buy the latest game, system or accessory that they’re producing. If you stop buying their products, they’ll go out of business. If they go out of business, the game sites and magazines close up too. So what’s a game site to do?

You’ll notice that a lot of game sites focus on what’s coming up, what’s new and what the best games are of this year. They don’t spend much time looking into the past or putting games in historical context. They also have a tendency to hyperbolize newer games at the expense of older ones. Every new game is one of the Best Ever, so you can throw out your old copies of game X, or, even better, trade them in.

It seems that a lot of the sites get involved in the hype cycle, which is kind of like this:

1. “What game is next?”

2. “Ooh, can’t wait for this new game!”

3. “It’s out! Quick play it!”

4. “Good, huh?”

5. “What game is next?”

6. Go to step 2.

Once again, I want to make it perfectly clear that I’m not saying that all game reviewers are immoral and purposely trying to get you to waste your money. However, with all sorts of sites all around the globe talking about what’s new and coming up next, very few discuss what’s happened and how it matters to what’s going on today.

There’s a problem with this approach. One, many games are meant to be savored and enjoyed. If you blast through them without glancing to your left and right every once in a while, you miss out on some really cool stuff.

Two, the only people that can legitimately keep up with this approach are teenagers or adults with no responsibilities. As you get older and approach middle age, like most of the gaming audience is doing, you can’t keep up. You end up in a very frustrating position while the rest of the world passes you by and your backlog mounts.

Three, it creates an economic strain and beefs up the power of places like Gamestop. In order to keep up, you have to sell Game X that you just finished QUICKLY before it loses value, and eBay and Glyde take too long. Gamestop’s just down the street and they’ll give you something for it. Go! Go! Go!

Downwards Compatible has always been about avoiding the games that are hyped out of control and focusing on what’s enjoyable to play right now. We’ve never formally made it our mission statement, though, and that’s what we’re doing today.

Downwards Compatible: Analysis without the hype cycle.

It means that you’ll be able to talk about what’s already come out instead of what’s coming out. We’ll focus on new technologies, sure. We’ll talk about interesting things that we see happening in the world of gaming, most definitely. However, we’re not going to go chasing after rainbows and trying to find that elusive game that will somehow make us happy. We’re going to take our time, chew thoroughly games that we like, and figure out why we like them.

Hopefully, you’ll stick along with us for the ride. Thanks for reading.

Major Redesign

Exciting things are afoot at ↓C! We've just replaced the main page with all the goodies that Google rolled out in the last year, and we're contemplating a FULL redesign to go along with all the fun! We've also got a new mission statement, as you can see above.

What does it mean? We'll explain in a different article.

Downwards Compatible's End Of Year Awards

Most Disappointing Game

Metroid Other M

It wasn't the cutscenes that bothered me about this game. It wasn't the storyline or the characterization of Samus that annoyed me either. What annoyed me was this: They removed the essence of Metroid and then called it a Metroid game.


For example, in a normal Metroid game, you would have been subjected to the hot areas or the slowness of the gravity areas until you found the Varia or Gravity suit. Then you could gleefully traverse the areas that you couldn't before. You could also take out enemies that you couldn't before since you now had the tools needed to handle them.

I think Nintendo discounted how important that feature is to the long-term appeal of Metroid. Metroid has always been about seeing things you can't open or defeat, then finding the tool on your own and pushing past the problem. It's a sense of satisfaction knowing that YOU did something.

Other M instead keeps you from doing anything because you're just waiting for permission. This kills one of the biggest battles at the end, because you're not told that you have permission to use a specific weapon and since it hasn't been demonstrated since the very beginning of the game, you've forgotten how to use it.

Also, Metroid is about backtracking. It's about returning to previous areas stronger to show you how far you've come since the beginning. It's only until AFTER the game is over that you can finally play Other M the way you SHOULD have been able to at the beginning. Sigh. Such a missed opportunity.

Most Pleasant Surprise

The Wii's Emergence As A Real Gaming System

The Wii had one of its best years this year. Super Mario Galaxy 2 is an all-time classic, and they've had decent game after decent game come out. The only thing Wii gamers are missing is a major RPG, but that will never-

OH LOOK THERE IT'S "THE LAST STORY!"

Love it.

Most Shocking Decline That I Saw Coming a Mile Away

The Death of Guitar Games

As recently as earlier this year, I said that the massive amounts of Guitar Hero spinoffs would kill not only the Guitar Hero brand but also Rock Band and anyone else who tried to make them. Didn't I? Didn't I call this one from a mile away?

Then Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock launched and everyone was surprised that it flopped. Then Rock Band 3 fell on its face undeservedly. I'm telling you, Activision is driving every single one of its franchises into the dirt and the next one up is Call of Duty. You heard it here first.

Game That's Like Eating A Really Good Sandwich That Has Poop In It Every Ten Bites

Donkey Kong Country Returns

I love DKC Returns. I really do. It's fun, it's smart, it's just the right amount of difficult. However, about every ten levels, you're presented with a level where you have to fly a rocket around the level. This rocket is difficult to control, and you only have one hit until you're dead. Save points are few and far between in these levels.

Add to this the Super Guide system, which starts bothering you after you die eight times in the level and you CAN'T TURN OFF, and you have a recipe for rage quitting.

Great game, though.

Game I'm Most Looking Forward to Playing Now That I'm Not Writing For Gaming Trend

InFamous

I've been writing for Gaming Trend for the past two and a half years. They're a fine publication, and we left on good terms. However, for the last two years I haven't been able to do what I love doing: Buying piles of games dirt-cheap and playing them at my leisure. I used to do this all the time. I bought the original Ghost Recon for $2 used. I've bought games like Viewtiful Joe for $1.99. At that price, almost any game is fun.

Now that I own a PS3, I want to do the same thing. The first game on my list was Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. I played it for a while and had a good time, and I intend to finish it before I move on to Uncharted 2. However, I also now have InFamous, and everyone tells me it's better than Prototype, which I loved. Looking forward to it.

Downwards Compatible Games of the Year

3) Kirby's Epic Yarn

Kirby's Epic Yarn exists to make you smile. If you play games to take out your aggression or the equivalent of punching a pillow when you're angry, you won't like Kirby. However, if you play games to have a good time, relax and smile, then you'll enjoy Epic Yarn.

2) Dragon Quest IX

I've now put in about 80 hours in DQ9 and I still haven't finished it. It's not even like I've done a ton of side quests or anything: I've just been goofing around and levelling up characters. It's a turn-based JRPG in its purest form, and it's magic.

1) Super Mario Galaxy 2

Super Mario Galaxy 2 is remarkably confident. It's hard, it sounds great, it's clever, and it looks beautiful. It's the new game against which all 3-D platformers should be judged, and it should stand as one of Nintendo's crowning achievements in a long list of them.

Review: Create

Developer: EA Bright Light
Publisher: EA

A lot of game executives looked around about a year ago and notice that while they were each sitting on a fairly decent pile of cash, Nintendo was rolling around naked in money a la Indecent Proposal. Independently of each other, they decided that they would like to be rolling around naked in money as well and decided to copy what they perceived to be Nintendo’s strategy: Go after non-gamers and make super-simple games for them while using peripherals such as motion controls.

Most companies have found that this strategy hasn’t really worked, since that wasn’t really Nintendo’s strategy after all. That secret is closely guarded in a pocket hidden within Satoru Iwata’s underpants. However, that doesn’t stop companies from trying.

The latest attempt at reach a wide family-friendly audience is EA’s Create. It purports to be a game that’s all about accessibility and solving problems using only the blob of grey stuff in your head. How does it turn out? Let’s find out.

You Must First Create The Universe

Create has two major parts to it: A bunch of challenges and an overworld that you can decorate. During the challenges, they’ll present you with, say, a gas can and ask you to get it onto the back of a truck. They’ll present with a few tools, like a motorbike and a couple of ramps. It’s your job to figure out how to work it all together. If you solve it, you get a “spark,” and collecting enough of those unlocks the next world.

In the overworld, you’re presented with a place, like a circus. They’ll ask you to, make a “Create Chain,” meaning they want you to place a certain amount of objects on the world. For instance, they’ll want you to color in some of the blank textures with whatever available texture you choose: Grass, brick, concrete, polka dots and the like. They’ll want you to place some items, like maybe Ferris wheels, trucks, animals or whatever. Once you’ve placed enough, they’ll reward you with another spark.

If you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering where the “creation” comes in. That’s just it: You don’t really do any creating. You use the items that the game gives you to solve puzzles or add stuff into the world. You don’t get to change the world itself. You’re just adding little bits and pieces to it.

On top of that, the puzzles don’t really give you a lot of options. Most of the ones I played presented you with a few items and told you to solve the problem using JUST those items. There were cases when I would realize that there was the PERFECT item to solve the puzzle but the game wouldn’t let me use it. I would have to jury-rig a solution using parts that I didn’t really want to use. Now, they may be thinking that limitations breed creativity, but they really don’t. It just makes Create reminiscent of those bad 90’s adventure games that demand that you use nightmare-dream logic in order to solve a puzzle when there’s a much more viable solution that they won’t let you use.

The controls also don’t do Create any favors. I used a Dualshock controller to play Create and found the menus horribly unintuitive. You may be thinking that if I used the Move controller maybe I would find the menus easier. However, using the Move controller wouldn’t change the underlying bass-ackward menu organization that mars Create.

Here’s how the menu is divided: Environment tools, game objects, brush tools and world tools. What’s the difference between an environment tool and a world tool? Beats me. After playing through several of the levels, I still couldn’t always find the tool that I needed and had to back in and out of several menus before I found the right one. It’s also important to know that I have 25 years of experience navigating in-game menus and still struggled.

You’ll also have to use these menus A LOT. In fact, the whole game is menu-driven. How could you take the main part of the game and screw it up so badly? It would be like a Halo game accidentally remapping the fire button to moving the left control stick backwards and mapping the movement controls to the D-pad, then not allowing you to change it at all. Microsoft would never let the product out of the front door. How did EA let this one go without some major overhauling?

When writing this review, I feared that maybe I was overthinking things. Maybe I was expecting Create to be something that it wasn’t. However, with a name like “Create” there are certain expectations. If someone buys this off the shelf, they will see words like “imagination!” and brightly-colored swirls of paint beckoning them to a world of magic and wonder. When they find that they’re doing what amounts to painting a dollhouse, I have a feeling that they’ll be disillusioned.

Final Grade: D