NES Replay: Aussie Rules Footy

I love sports, but it amazes me how many sports I don't know anything about. I know baseball and football pretty well, and basketball, hockey and soccer in passing. I know barely anything about rugby and cricket, which are only two of the most popular sports throughout the world. I know even less about Australian rules football.

Yet, here I am, having to review Aussie Rules Footy. I'm also setting a goal for myself throughout this review: I will make it through this review without saying "G'day mate!", "throw another shrimp on the barbie," "digeridoo," "That's not a knife," and making jokes about Vegemite or Men At Work.

Wish me luck.

Apparently, Australian Rules Football is played on a round field, and it begins with a jump ball of sorts. The referee bounces the ball on the field, and then the players run at it. In Aussie Rules Footy, I could never get to the ball.

Next, you're apparently supposed to run with the ball, then kick it through some uprights to score. Or something. I think. I didn't score once while the computer obliterated me.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON

I couldn't find a "tackle" button and kept trying to tackle my opponents from behind. It wasn't until after I was done playing that I looked it up. I found out that in Australian Rules Football, you can obstruct the players or tackle with your hands, but not like you can in American football. That's probably for the best, considering all the brain injury problems that American football has.

Also, whenever I started up a game, I played as Collingwood, just because one of my favorite bands is Fountains of Wayne, and Cris Collingwood is the lead singer. That's a good reason to pick a team, right?

In closing, Aussie Rules Footy is great! I think. Well, depending. Is it?

Ah, screw it.

Final Rating: